Fat Little Legs: August 2010

What's for Dinner? Super Sloppy Joes

Recipes August 30, 2010

My Kitchen Weapons - A Giveaway

Giveaway August 23, 2010

Tonight I feel like the world is out to sabotage me - to derail my weight loss efforts - to keep me fat and to make me fatter! I just feel like no one is making this even the slightest bit easy for me. OK, I realize no one said this was going to be easy. In fact, I'm pretty sure it is the hardest thing I've EVER had to do in my life. But still... could I get a little help please?

Why do I feel this way... Let's review:

Injured my back this week... having to "take it easy" on the exercise. I HATE moving less... now that was weird coming out of my keyboard.
My dear husband brought home the most delicious loaf of homemade ciabatta bread from the farmer's market yesterday. Yes, we have olive oil and basil and tomatoes too... Yes I had 6 1/2 pieces of bruschetta as my appetizer tonight. Yes there is nothing more I LOVE in the universe than fresh baked WHITE bread. Be still my heart. Thanks honey... or maybe not.
Corporations that don't "respect" my order... and here is where I'm going to "go off." In the last 2 weeks I have no less than 4 times been sabotaged by corporations selling me their food and drinks. I've asked for something, and when I drove away or walked away I realized my order was not filled correctly. It seems to be an issue with coffee places for some reason. Please know this, I LOVE COFFEE! I drink lots of it, in all sorts of forms. But please for the love of God people when I ask for sugar-free or skim or whatever it is, please know that I'm not doing it because I just love the way that "sugar-free" rolls off the tip of my tongue. No, I'm actually asking for sugar free because I take the medicine Glucophage. It's a type 2 diabetic medicine. I am not a type 2 diabetic... yet, but I have PCOS (Poly cystic Ovarian Syndrome, which has given me insulin resistance, which makes me act like a type 2 diabetic... hope that all made sense. Because I take the lovely medicine, glucophage, when I ingest sugar a portion of it is blocked from my system, making sugary syrups in coffee my nemesis. So please for the love of God give me the sugar free frappacino, the sugar free syrup. Dear Starbucks, I love you, but you pissed me off tonight. I wanted the lite frappacino. After years of drinking the fat laden, sugar-laden ones, I know the difference between a lite and a regular. THAT WAS NOT A LITE FRAPPACINO! But my husband that brought me the bread sure enjoyed it though.

There are other reasons... but I feel I've bestowed enough rage on you for one night. I'm tired of losing weight. I don't want to do it anymore... but I'm going to.

I feel alone tonight. I feel like no one else has to struggle with these issues, with the wanting food, but not being able to have it.

I feel like there is a big fat conspiracy to keep me fat!

P-S: Down .2 at my weigh in. SIGH... These last few pounds are going to take awhile, aren't they?

Honey You Have a Way with Chicken

Chicken Recipes August 17, 2010

True Confessions

True Confessions August 16, 2010

I'm having a hard day today. Actually mostly just a hard evening/late afternoon.
I feel like I need a true confession... and this is MY blog so here it is, since 3:30 today I have eaten:

1 Kellogg's Antioxidant Peanut/Chocolate Granola Bar - 2 points
Light Mocha Frappacino @ Starbucks - 2 points (thank you Starbucks for healthier options)
3 Townhouse crackers - 1 point
A pinch of blue cheese - who's counting?
mini slice of french bread with pesto and sliced up cherry tomatoes - 1.5 points
4 pieces of bacon - 5.5 points
3 pieces of white bread - Lord only knows
2 Tbsp Hellman's light mayo - 2.6 points
A cup of lettuce - redemption?
1 large tomato
1/2 cup of grapes - veggie/fruit servings - check those off for the day!
graham cracker with Nutella... more Nutella on a knife, and some peanut butter mixed in for good measure. - Stopped counting...
A few lick of my finger wiped in the leftover bacon pan - Wonder what the points value is for that?
1 large marshmallow - then 1/2 a one I didn't remember having.

So I sit now and I feel embarrassed to even post this. I dig deep into myself, and all of the ~~4,287~~ 100 Weight Watchers meetings I've been to over the past 2 yeas, and I ask myself the question we ALWAYS talk about - the one I routinely want to ignore:
What am I hungry for?
What am I looking for? Because obviously food isn't filling that hole. Yep obviously.

I think tonight I'm looking for control. I want control over my life. Yesterday I hurt my lower back... twisted wrong, picked up my son, walked too fast, bent over, and ugh! Not sure which one of those things ... or maybe all of them. I ended up at the chiropractor this afternoon. He adjusted me, told me to ice it, and take it easy for a few days. No!!! Exercising is needed... it is one thing I can control. I don't want to "take it easy for a few days." NO NO NO! I just joined a new gym for goodness sakes. Stupid back. Stupid monkey wrench into my week. Just as well throw it all down the toilet, right?

Tonight I want control - My little boy is sick... running a 103 fever last time I checked. If you are a parent without family/friends around that don't work, and your kid gets sick on a Monday you know the sinking feeling I have in my heart tonight. Even if you are a parent at all, you know how much it sucks when your "baby" gets sick.

Tonight I want control. Watching Unwrapped on TV I wanted to eat all of the curly fries, giant cookie pizzas, and ice cream sundaes. I want to eat it and not have to worry about points, not have to worry about gaining weight. Not have to struggle so DAMN hard sometimes! I want to be skinny, and forget about fat. I want to be a "skinny person", never worrying about gaining weight. Even if my outside is thin, I feel like I will always be "fat."

Tonight I want control... and I don't have it, so I ate to prove I was in control. HA HA... I guess the joke's on me, isn't it?

Pizza

Garden Recipes August 15, 2010

So my garden is overflowing with these... Remember?

And my family really loves pizza, and in the past couple months I actually decided to start making it myself because I could:

Control the ingredients
It's fresher... less grease, real food
It tastes WAY better
Its fun!
And its honestly not as hard as you might think. It does require some "pre-planning" though.

I've avoided pizza quite a bit on this journey so far. I like to eat a lot of it, and it can be a lot of points. So making my own was a great solution.

Yesterday we had a pesto, fresh mozzarella, tomato pizza, and it was awesome!

I have been using Pioneer Woman's crust recipe which makes 2 really large pizzas, and one little one - because you know that every 3 year old "wants my owns" You can make this ahead and keep in the fridge for a couple of days, and it also freezes well. Once you have the crust the rest is easy!

First you roll out the crust - find a really cute helper:

Next you need some pesto. I make my own when I have fresh basil, but I'm used store-bought before as well. I throw together:

Fresh Basil Leaves
4 Cloves Garlic
1/3 of a cup of sliced almonds
some Parmesan cheese - a handful ... maybe 1/4 cup

and I process in my food processor while streaming in olive oil, until it is more liquid. Sorry for the vagueness... I'm one of those "throw things together" type of cooks. If you need exact measurements, just google pesto... there are a million and one recipes out there!

Now top the pizza crust with some of the pesto, sliced fresh tomatoes, a little shredded mozzarella, and then slices of fresh mozzarella (you can buy it in the deli section of the grocery store). I even added a few pieces of some leftover smoked mozzarella we had around.

I bake on a pizza stone @ 500 degrees for about 10-11 minutes.

YUM! Now wasn't that worth it? I'm not saying this is "low calorie", but it is made with tons of fresh ingredients, and it is not one bit greasy... it is vegetarian too. And... it is certainly worth it!

What do you like on your pizza?

Thursday Weigh In - Only One Pound

Weigh in August 12, 2010

So weigh in today... this morning I was just plain pissed off because I was convinced that I was going to stay the same at weigh in. Just for reference the last 2 weigh ins were down .2 up .6. I was convinced I was on a plateau. I had a bad attitude marching in to weigh in, and then some people from a earlier meeting were gathered outside, and made my day. I've been to that meeting a couple of times, so they "know me." They told me I looked great, and when I mentioned how I was kind of stuck at these last 4 pounds, they assured me to quit obsessing about it, and the weight would come off. Stress does not help with weight loss. It was good to get some extra encouragement. Then I weighed in and low and freaking behold I was down a whole pound. I was ecstatic. I lost... I lost a normal amount of weight. 1 pound down... I love losing 1 pound.

It reminds me of the "Only 1 pound poem" - Author Unknown
Hello! Do you know me?
If you don't, you should. I'm a pound of fat.
And I am the happiest pound of fat that you would ever want to meet.
Want to know why?
It's because no one ever wants to lose me.
I'm only one pound, just a pound!

Everyone wants to lose three pounds, five pounds, or fifteen pounds, but never only one.
So I just stick around and happily keep you fat.
Then I add to myself, ever so slyly, so that you never seem to notice it.
That is until I've grown to ten, twenty, thirty or even more pounds in weight.

Yes, it's fun being only one pound of fat, left to do as I please.
So, when you weigh in, keep right on saying, "Oh, I only lost one pound."
(As if that were such a terrible thing)
For you see, if you do this, you'll encourage others to keep me around because they'll think I'm not worth losing.

And, I love being around you - your arms, your legs, your chin, your hips and every part of you.
After all, I'm only one pound of fat!!!

Yep... that's how I got here... one pound at a time, and that is how I'm going to get out of here... 1 pound at a time. Losing 1 pound is awesome! Why? Because the girl who lost .2 and gained .6 the last 2 weeks says so!

Pullups

Exercise August 11, 2010

The Night He Saved My Life

A-ha moments August 09, 2010

Today is my little boy's 3rd birthday! Happy Birthday Mr. L... We love you!

You are bring sunshine to everyone that knows you!

1 day old

Today is also the third anniversary of the night that my life was saved. Yes, I credit my first and only child with saving my life the night he was born. Let me explain.

If you read my story you know that my son "L" was born 5 weeks premature due to my development of HELLP syndrome. He also had severe IUGR (Intrauterine Growth Restriction) likely due to my HELLP and placental issues. I never expected him to come on August 9th, but he entered the world via emergency C-section at 11:56 pm... just barely an August 9th baby. He was 3 pounds and 4 oz and 16 inches long. He was breathing perfectly, just super small. We were both extremely lucky. First time HELLP syndrome claims around 1 in 4 women that develop it. Most people don't realize that women DO still die in childbirth.

The next 27 days were a bit of a blur, as "L" spent them in the special care nursery: learning to eat, grow, and regulate his temperature. We were finally allowed to bring him home on Sept 5th. You cannot even begin to imagine the intense emotional pain of not being able to take your child home from the hospital with you, when you are discharged, but I also know that we are so very blessed that we were eventually able to take him home, as there as so many families that NEVER get to bring their babies home.

Getting to that point was a broken road... we had been through a miscarriage, a diagnosis of PCOS and the resulting infertility, horrible morning sickness, gestational diabetes, HELLP syndrome, the emergency delivery, the IUGR, and the baby in special care... all in a matter of less than 2 years. That's alot!

Somewhere in those 27 days while he was in the hospital came a realization. Maybe it was my "a-ha" moment, if you will. I had a little life to care for now. This wasn't just about me anymore. I had to think outside myself. The other half of my a-ha moment came when my doctor told me 1 year after his birth that my weight was likely a "contributing factor" in my pregnancy issues and my son's IUGR. WOW! That will hit you like a ton of bricks. One week after being told that, I walked into Weight Watchers for my first meeting. I needed to lose 117.4 pounds to get to the highest healthy weight that Weight Watchers would allow. I need to lose 106.4 pounds to get to the goal weight my doctor set for me. It was unfathomable that I could EVER do it, but I never felt I had any other choice.

This boy, means so much to me... and has come so far in the past 3 years. There is no way I would ever let him down:

1 day old

1 year old

2 years old!

3 years old (almost)!

And b/c of his birth day that on August 9th in 2007, and the drama of the way he entered this world, my life was FOREVER changed That night he saved my life. He saved me from a likely short life of joint pain, heart disease, diabetes, and probably continuing to gain weight eventually leading to my early death. I absolute 100% know that this special little boy had a very special purpose. I believe that NOTHING in this life happens randomly. So... thank you "L". Thank you for saving your mommy. And thank you to your Creator for having the insight to see that I needed you more than you needed me. I can sit here today 102 pounds gone, and ALMOST there because of you. 3 years ago I spent the scariest night of my life... alone in a room without my baby who had just been suddenly ripped away from me... not knowing what was happening. Unable to move because I was still numb from the waist down. I spent the night, counting down the minutes until morning. I could not have predicted that night how my life would soon be changed. Tonight, 3 years later holding my little boy is living proof that miracles do happen!

Thank you "L" for saving me... I would not trade 1 second of the last 3 years - even the scary ones for anything! You are fearfully and wonderfully made!