Today I have the pleasure of sharing with you the last guest post of the month.  This comes from Erin, mom to twin girls with Turner Syndrome!  Aubrey and Ainsley were featured in the Our Beautiful Butterflies post earlier this month.

Uniquely Different

Hi everyone, thank you for taking the time to read this guest post, and thank you Sarah for hosting me.

Another guest post for you today - apparently I'm getting lazy :-) - or rather I have an amazing network of informed women that just can't wait to share their vast collection of knowledge. Today' s post is from Janine, who blogs at http://thefairyprincessgarden.blogspot.com/ and her daughter Josslyn is in the Our Beautiful Butterflies post. 

One big challenge most parents of girls with TS and Special Needs children face is the dreaded IEP meeting. By the time our children are ready for their school district we have so many acronyms thrown at us we have no clue whether we are coming or going. Hopefully after this you feel more empowered to make the best out of the IEP to help your child achieve their educational goals.

First of all IEP stands for Individualized Education Program, SLP is your Speech Language Pathologist , OT is Occupational Therapist, PT is Physical Therapist and you can find more here:

http://www.cec.sped.org/Content/NavigationMenu/NewsIssues/TeachingLearningCenter/Special_Education_Acronyms_and_Abbreviations.htm

Knowing some of the basic terms ahead of your first meeting will help you feel familiarized. I always suggest prior to approaching the school about an IEP to find your Parental Rights from your Department of Education- Special Education for your state as most schools will not bother to educate you on ALL your (your child’s) rights and the second rule would be to always have someone go with you if possible. The school will give you a copy of your rights, and it is up to you to read and be informed. Sometimes therapists or Dr's are willing to attend the IEP in order to help establish what is needed for the child, a friend or your spouse can accompany you as well. Ultimately this is your IEP and you’re in charge, you can bring whoever you wish to help you. And third thing to remember you do not have to sign the IEP that same day, if you’re unsure take it home, read it over and then sign and bring back to the school and make sure you get a signed by all parties’ copy of this contract.

Having a child in special Ed doesn’t have to be bad thing. Special Ed is a blessing, the earlier our children start the more improvement you might see and they can address more than just educational issues, also social and medical. For example, if your child is tracking along with their peers but still needs meds for any reason at all during school hours this can be implemented into an IEP to ensure proper procedures are followed. A child who has balance issues and tends to fall a lot because of medication or a medical cause can have an aid assigned to them, just the same as a child who needs to be re-directed in order to get their work done or to learn to respond to social situations due to ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorders) etc. Some children need untimed testing, isolated testing for concentration, or oral testing. Also once your child phases out of High School if they still have an IEP they can contact their local Vocational Rehab for services and information. These services can follow into college and depending on impairments college tuition might be covered as well as items needed for class depending on your area.

Ideally children will be taught in LRE (less restrictive environment ) which means some children who are able to be in regular classroom but need to address certain issues can be in with their peers and go to the Special Ed classroom just certain days a week for an allotted time. Special education can address reading, math, writing, and social problems if needed. Your child is entitled to this help by their School District starting at age 3; if they do not have a full time SLP or OT/PT this can be requested.

My daughter who has Classic TS, PDD-NOS and AD (Anxiety Disorders) and HBP (high blood pressure) had really bad social anxiety and didn’t know how to handle herself away from us, so we came up with a plan in order to prepare for school the following year. Starting at age 3 her dad would get on the bus with her and go to school for speech and a short integration into pre-k ( to get her used to the classroom environment) in which he would have to be in the room with her, an aid would also be on the bus sitting across from her and accompany them to speech and class, slowly my husband was to move across and she would sit with her aid, they would walk to class until she was comfortable enough for my husband to fade into the background and she would go with her aid, but the last semester she would get on the bus alone and sit with her aid and they would bring her after therapies were over.

This is just one example of what needed to happen for our daughter to be able to go to school and how the school helped. It wasn’t always easy but knowing my rights I was able to address and remind the school of what had to be available to us according to the law. Remember the IEP is a contract with a team of helpers ultimate goal is to work for your child and help them progress in school in ALL areas.   She no longer needs Special Ed after 2.5yrs working with them, and she will continue to be evaluated yearly to be sure she does not need help or as I ask them to evaluate. If you ever have issues do not hesitate to contact your State Dept of Special ED they are more than happy to provide information and address problems within the school if needed.

Here are examples of IEP’s to help guide you through the process:http://projectforum.org/docs/Standards-BasedIEPExamples.pdf

I hope this helps some of you on your journey. Thanks so much to Sarah for allowing me to contribute to Turner Syndrome Awareness Month.

Today I have the pleasure of sharing another guest post with you.  Dana, the mom of Caroline from the Our Beautiful Butterflies post, shares with us her experience through the 7 states of grief.  Dana has her own blog over at http://aubreyjane.com Please check it out!

Traveling Through Grief

I am reminded every day that my daughter is a miracle. Everyday I am reminded of all that we have been through in these past 23 months. Everyday I am reminded of the journey that I have taken over these past months to travel through grief and see the miracle in my presence.

I believe that many special needs parents go through the 7 stages of grief. Unfortunately, I don’t believe that we all talk about it or like to admit it. My journey through grief started when I was 9 weeks pregnant and a cystic hygroma was detected, doom and gloom prognosis was given, an amnio was denied by us, and a healthy baby girl with TS blessed and changed our lives forever.

1. SHOCK & DENIAL
Shock is exactly how I would explain that sunny April day in 2010. It was just a random ultrasound because of some cramping I had been experiencing. I took my 14 month old daughter with me to the appointment. I phoned my husband and told him I would bring him a soda when I was done with the appointment. He was having an awful day at work and I thought the soda would brighten his day. At the appointment my 14 month old waited patiently as the tech explained what she saw. Honestly, I don’t even remember the diagnosis of a cystic hygroma. I just remember them telling me something was seriously wrong and that I needed to do the 1^st trimester screening in two weeks. That whole appointment is so etched in my brain, but yet so foggy. I took my ultrasound picture, got my husband a soda, and tried my best to hold it all together as I met my husband. Needless to say, this was one of the hardest days of our 9 years of marriage. When you are pregnant, you never expect that you will be that minority of parents who get life changing news, yet here we were. We were shocked and so emotionally drained.

2. PAIN & GUILT-
The following day I received my Baby Beats heartbeat monitor that I had ordered the week before. Receiving that monitor was like a knife in my heart. Instead of listening to my baby grow, I felt like I would be listening to see if my baby had stopped growing. The following two weeks were just so hard. I found forums that had a positive vibe, but there were still so many unknowns that nothing really helped to ease the pain. I felt like I was being punished for wanting to peak at my baby via the ultrasound. I know it is not rational, but I thought that if I would have waited until the 20 week ultrasound, there would not have been bad news and my baby would have been perfect. I know that sounds silly.

3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
To say I was not angry would be a lie. I had suffered a miscarriage before the birth of my first daughter, so I understood the grief that is felt after losing a pregnancy. I was so angry that I had such a high probability of going through something similar, but also so much harder and difficult to bear. I had been told that I had a 90% chance of having a miscarriage before 24 weeks. The “why me” was running through my head daily.

4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
Looking back I would say I was depressed. I had a hard time being around other pregnant friends. My friends had very close due dates and one was actually due on the same day as me. I constantly wondered how November would look. I thought about how seeing friends’ babies would be a reminder of us not having our baby. I tried my best to not let these feelings be known. I would make things seem better than what they were. Who wants to be around a depressed person?  I became an expert at hiding my emotions and sugar coating feelings.

5. THE UPWARD TURN-
At 19 weeks I was scheduled to have an amnio. Before the amnio, the perinatologist did a scan of our daughter’s neck and discovered that the cystic hygroma had resolved. We were overjoyed and decided to decline the amnio. At 24 weeks her heart echo came back great with no seen heart abnormalities. On the way home from the appointment, I stopped and purchased my little fighter her very first outfit. Yes, I have another little girl and plenty of clothes, but this outfit represented the hope and faith I had about making it to November and delivering a healthy baby girl. I finally felt hopeful.

6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
I wish I could say that my mind never went to the “what-if’s”, but it did. I tried to prepare the best I could, but I don’t think one can really prepare for something you have no clue how to handle.

7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
November 11^th, 2010 came and so did a beautiful baby girl. Soon after birth she was diagnosed with Turner Syndrome. She had the classic puffy hands and feet, along with upturned toe nails and tiny, narrow fingernails. When the head NICU doctor walked in to give us the news, my heart broke all over again. I didn’t know much about TS at the moment, but I did know that my daughter would not be able to conceive children of her own. Realizing she would be infertile was just a hard pill to swallow. After a night of searching, I became more educated on TS. I knew we had a long road to travel, but I was thankful to God for allowing us to be her parents. At that moment I decided to be hopeful. How can you not be hopeful when you realize that your daughter is the 2% that make it to term.

Although I am so hopeful, there have been moments where the grief seeps back in and I ask “why Caroline?” Letting the grief come back does not help, but I think it is a normal part of the process. During these past 15 months, I have found a wonderful support group with ladies who have daughters with TS. Finding a support group has been crucial to helping me accept some of the TS issues Caroline has and finding hope by listening to the moms of older TS girls. It is an amazing feeling to find a place where people just understand what you are going through and offer support and comfort.

Traveling through the grief process was hard, but I am so thankful to God for showing us something that has kept my daughter healthy. If I would have had just the standard 20 week ultrasound, my daughter’s cystic hygroma would not have been discovered. Since there is not enough awareness on TS, I wonder if anyone would have caught her TS at birth? Thankfully I don’t have to wonder. Although difficult, I am happy for the grief because it led to an early Turner Syndrome diagnosis. Early diagnosis is key for girls with TS.

I found “Welcome to Holland" while I was pregnant with Caroline. The essay was written in 1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley, about having a child with a disability. The piece is given by many organizations to new parents of children with special-needs.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

“I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......”

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

I have the pleasure of sharing another guest post with you today from Kirsten, whose daughter Sienna is featured in my beautiful butterflies post, and who shared with us last week her struggle with the infertility aspect of Turner Syndrome.  I am so thankful for Kirsten sharing her feelings with us, and giving me a little break from writing for a few days.

A Butterfly or a Grizzly Bear?


And the TSSUS symbol for TS is a butterfly. As Sarah writes in her blog:

“The butterfly is the Turner Syndrome symbol.　 The TSSUS chose the butterfly because the butterfly is feminine yet strong, every butterfly is unique, and butterflies fly on their own which is our hope for our girls.　 I think it fits so well because butterflies may at first glance　appear fragile, but are truly strong and beautiful, just like these girls!”

I like the butterfly and I do get this meaning.  It is positive and supportive.  It is hopeful.

I would be lying though if I also said I liked it all the time. When I really think about this in my life, as it pertains to my butterfly, I think I get defensive. And this is weird – because I am usually the person who gets all this stuff and is OK with it or does not think about it.  But those times it usually does not pertain to me or I get the joke.  And here is why I can say it bugs me.  And it could bug other moms who are like me.

Up until around May or June 2011 I was raising a perfectly normal and healthy child. She was healthy and active and learning and smart and full of life, love and attitude. The attitude part really makes Grandma happy for some reason…but we will not talk about that here.  She was much shorter than her peers but every bit as smart, normal, active and happy as everyone else. Then we did a blood test and found out she has Mosaic Turner Syndrome. Some percent of her cells only contain one X chromosome, and some contain two X chromosomes but one is apparently broken. Of all the things that can go wrong or are more likely found in a TS girl – she has relatively few. She has no heart defects, and no outwardly physical symptoms one would recognize as TS. She does have a horseshoe kidney, she does wear glasses, and she has tubes in her ears (2x times now) because of recurring infections and fluid in her ears that impacts her hearing if left unchecked. That is pretty much the entire list.

Now I have a daughter with TS. OK. Nothing has really changed for me except we now give her a growth hormone shot every day and we have to have a few more doctors appointments every year. She is still the same girl and still so full of life.  I feel sometimes this verbiage around this butterfly symbol is saying there is something defective or substandard about our girls.  I have heard other mothers say they know their daughter will endure the laughter from other children and people as if they are assuming their TS butterfly is already imperfect. To me, there is a sense of faultiness implied here mixed within the support and hope.

Maybe it’s how I trust doctors and go to them to fix the things that needed fixing, and have from a young age.   Maybe it’s the 15 surgeries I have had in the last 14 years and still consider myself　healthy. Maybe it’s the fact nothing a doctor could do to me anymore scares or worries me in the least.  Maybe it’s is my overall personality about this stuff.  It is just a procedure and I know why it’s needed and I do not get overly emotional seeing my baby scared or poked.  Sure, you might be thinking it, but I am not heartless.  I do not like to see her scared and unsure, but I stay calm and we handle it. And I think I am passing this attitude to my child. She was not thrilled about shots as a baby / toddler getting her vaccinations. She is unsure of new doctor appointments and procedures. She was not particularly thrilled the night the nurse came over to teach us how to administer the GH shots and had to get the first one. She is 5.  I get it. But after the first shot - it really has been painless. Her dad and I treat this as putting on your jammies or brushing your teeth, and we do not waver in this.  If anything, we use humor to make it just another thing.

Maybe it’s my defiant attitude – and most people I know would verify this for you - adamantly. I am a fighter, persistent, and most of the time “you can’t” or “no” is just a dare to me. TS is not who she is or what she is. It is something she has. And will always have, but in my mind it does not stop her from doing anything, ever. It does not limit her in any way – except maybe reaching the top shelf without a step stool.  I do not feel I am in denial in any way as well, as I do not neglect any appointment, recommendation or treatment.  I keep an open mind to things that could go wrong and I watch for them. I pay attention to her moods, her feelings, and her behaviors. I am very observant and mindful of what is “wrong” with her and the things that could still appear.

But some days I feel I am raising a grizzly bear, not a butterfly. There is nothing neither delicate nor fragile about her. She is decisive, active, and curious. She is a tough little cookie. She has no problem standing up to me, even when I remind her who the mom is and that we do not talk to each other that way. She has no problem getting what she wants or letting others know she is there. There is nothing in my mind about hoping she will fly on her own – she would do just fine if she moved out today! She is resourceful, smart, adamant, and independent.  She is the same little girl I had before May 2011.

Please don’t get me wrong. I know TS girls come in all varieties and all with unique and different conditions or symptoms.  I would never discredit or make light of the struggles others go through and what they had to deal with.  Some TS girls can have very serious issues and this is devastating to a family.  At the very least, it is hard on any family.  There are things which go wrong that do cause tough emotions to surface and difficulties for the girls.  We all have different lives, thoughts, abilities and concerns.  For me, the days it pops into my head that only 1-2% of babies conceived with TS actually make it to a live birth and if there are not 15 other things on my mind when, it can stop me in my tracks.  My little grizzly bear is a miracle.  She is here despite the odds.

I also know I am lucky and she is lucky.  I can see the other difficult issues many parents, especially the ones who knew before their daughter was born, had to endure.  These people are strong. They are survivors.  So are their butterflies. I am not bragging nor refuting the TS world with this post.  I am saying for me, there is nothing fragile or need for more hope in my life.  There is no doubt in my mind my little girl will grow up just fine.  I feel this makes us stronger and better able to deal with all the things that are going to happen in our lives that are not good.  This is something that makes her unique, and will help her see the differences in others. This is one more step on the journey we call life.  Whether she is a grizzly bear or just a cute little butterfly, she is still my daughter, the love of my life, and she will grow up as a good person if I have anything to do with it.  Now, we just have another purpose, to share with and help the rest of the world see TS as normal, acceptable, and not the end of the world.　

Today, I have the privilege of sharing with you a guest post!  This was written by Kirsten, she is the mother to a beautiful TS butterfly, Sienna Rain (who was featured in this post). 


TS Fact #2:  One of the common features of Turner Syndrome is incomplete sexual development and ovarian failure and infertility.


To be or not to be a mommy?

I admit I struggled with this question for a long time throughout my life. When I was five, I loved playing with my “babies” and practicing being a mom.  I would feed them, dress them and love them like they were real.  I grew up, went to college and got a job. The thought of having my own real babies at the time did not seem appealing.  I enjoyed life and still had a lot to do.  Being a mommy did not seem like a high priority on my list.

I did, however, give myself a deadline.  My plan was to become pregnant by 34 – if I was going to do it at all. It seemed like a reasonable age to become a mommy, and if I lived to 34 – since I had no real plans formulated after Y2K, since the general consensus was the world might end – seemed like a goal I did not have to think about. I would be 30 years old in 2000 and if I was going to die young and cool – it would be before that – the problem removed from my life, for the time being.

Despite the hype, we all lived through Y2K. I turned 30 years-old and was not as young and cool as I once thought of myself.  I had divorced my first husband and was living with my dog and two cats. Still the questions of being a mommy haunted me.  Not to where it consumed my thoughts in life, however it always seemed lingering in my brain wanting an answer I could not give.

I married a second time in 2003 and was enjoying life again. The same year, a doctor informed me about a health issue called endometriosis I was unfortunate enough to have.  This painful condition can cause severe fertility issues, and I had four surgeries in two years to help control it. I did not have the intense pain everyone talked about with the common side-effects–in my mind if the pain was not there, how could the fertility issues be there?  I was wrong.  And the dang mommy clock kept ticking in the back of my mind.

In Oct 2005, I had a myomectomy, which is a large tumor removed from my uterus growing into the walls and muscle tissues.  The doctors told me I should not even attempt to get pregnant for at least 3 months and when I did, I would have to have a C-section due to the possibility of tearing the uterus during labor.  The C-section I was happy about – I always thought getting and having the baby were more important than how it came into this world.  Something happened in November of 2005 – maybe it was a full moon or something – the clock won.  I decided to have a baby.  I admit I felt the weight of the decision gone in an instant and I was OK with my new goal: 35 – 1 year later than my original goal - however better late than never, right?

I quit taking birth control pills in Nov – 1 month after the myomectomy surgery. Always a rebel at heart, I guess. And I was pregnant by Jan 2006. After a 24 hour panic attack in my head: “who was going to pay for this thing and was this a good decision?” I embraced my new growing baby bump. I made a decision to be a happy pregnant woman no matter what for the next 10 months and start planning the parent I wanted to be.  I prayed I would have a cute little girl – I only wanted a girl – and she would be more like her dad than me. I was not the cute skinny cheerleader girl in school and was always jealous of those girls, besides, her dad is a nice average build – no significant fat and　stable metabolism. I wanted her to be cute and little to give her the opportunity to enjoy all those things I felt I missed myself.  She would be strong and independent and smart like her mommy. Oh yeah - and humble!  ;-)

My little princess came into this world on Sept 11, 2006.  She was early and impatient like her mother and perfect in every little tiny way. She was 5 pounds 4 ounces of cute. We named her Sienna Rain. I am around 5’5” on a good day and her dad is 5’7” – you can guess we are not professional basketball players.  My little peanut was just that.  She was small to begin with and stayed there. 　She always grew on a steady curve – only the curve was always on the one percentile or lower of the growth chart. 　

I never went back on BC pills. I wanted two babies to make my ideal family perfect. I tried and tried over the next four years and ended up having more surgeries and different check-ups to make sure the tubes were not blocked.  There was more money spent at fertility clinics than I care to admit.   Lots of visits and procedures involving drugs I couldn't begin to pronounce, let alone spell.  Every attempt failed. No second baby ever came into this world for us.  This made me a bit sad. My life was not over with only one child, and in reality my check book was heavier with only one child to spoil, however I felt a little sad not being able to give Sienna a sibling.

Over the next 4 years, Sienna's doctors expressed concern about Sienna’s height and weight – however their fears always subsided when each milestone became met as expected. Sienna is a fast learner, her speech was fine and we were also using the American Sign Language at home - all proper development according to her doctors.  They could see nothing else wrong with her other than her height– they watched and waited.  I had another deadline, also: if by the time she turned 5 and was not catching up to her peers in height, I would have her tested for something.  No one ever said Turner Syndrome to me, however in the summer of 2011 she had a blood test and the result was Turner Syndrome (TS).  The TS result explains the cute and short little girl I wanted in the beginning. My prayers were answered in a round about way!

TS girls come in all flavors with a wide variety of possible issues.  Short stature is 99% universal among girls with TS.  Fertility issues are the next highest side-effect. After that, heart and kidney issues can arise, and scoliosis is common also.  There are even some learning issues tied with TS in some cases.  TS girls can have only one X chromosomes in all or a portion of their cells. And many times if they have two X chromosomes, the second broken one is the cause of the different varieties of responses and conditions of the syndrome.

Today is 2012 and I have a 5-year-old girl with TS.  We started the prescribed growth hormone shots in Dec 2011.  She is a trooper.  The shots are a non-issue at our house, despite the horror stories out there and the anxiety this can cause to little ones.  The TS does not define us – it is something we have. Sienna is a healthy little feisty girl who tires out her mommy every day.  I had a hysterectomy in December of 2011 and found out how horrible my mommy parts had become.  The endometriosis did a number on my system, while those fertility issues I did not think I had, turns out I had more than anyone else expected.  There was a rare chance for me to have a baby, at all, and somehow Sienna made it here. She is my miracle.

She is also me circa 1975.  She is the 5-year-old me now playing with dolls, being the mommy.　 She sees her friends from daycare and school having little brothers and sisters.  She wants one.  This breaks my heart all the time. It broke my heart before the hysterectomy and the TS diagnosis　because I could not get pregnant again.  Today, it now breaks twice every time she brings it up because she knows her mommy’s baby parts are gone.  She tells me says she will have a baby in her tummy and it will be her little brother or sister.  Any older than 5, this would be a creepy story, ending in millions of dollars of therapy; however I understand her 5-year-old thought process.  She is trying and willing to help me get her a baby brother or sister.  She is such a sweetheart.

And now I worry about how I tell this sweetheart someday she may run into these problems herself.　 The doctors did see a uterus when they did the kidney ultrasound, and it looked normal for a little girl of 5.  However, at this age they cannot tell if her mommy parts will work as intended or even at all - she's still too young.  We will wait until puberty and see how it’s going. It’s not unheard of for a TS girl to get her period and breasts as non-TS girls would and to have a baby.  The chances are slim though.  Maybe it will be early ovarian failure or maybe her parts won’t work at all.  At best she will probably need whatever fertility options are out there in the future or she may need to adopt.

Every time she says “when I become a mommy…” I hope and pray she cannot decipher the look of pain on my face.  I cannot dash her 5-year-old dreams of being a mommy – it would do neither of us good.  She should have those same dreams and times to pretend as every other little girl does.  She should practice being a mommy today because we can be mommies in other instances.  My 3 dogs and 4 cats can attest to this now.   And she, as I have learned, will need all the practice, dreams, and those ways she pretends in her imagination when she becomes mommy age and starts to deal with all of these adult issues.  She will have to decide if she wants the responsibility in the first place and depending on what her body can or cannot do, may have to decide sooner than I wish.  To be or not to be a mommy?  This question will have a lot more meaning and choices for her, and possibly some heartache I don’t want to think about, and I hope I am still here as her mommy to help her through it when the time comes. 　

Joy over at http://transparentjoy.blogspot.com has lost over 50 pounds. Her goal is to honor the Lord and be obedient to Him, to love His people and to use her life as a living example for many.  I personally think she is doing a great job. So wise… So let’s listen to what she has to say.


The holidays are upon us. My goodness Thanksgiving is just a couple of weeks away! I am already feeling the hustle and bustle of things beginning to happen! Its here, folks, can’t believe it!!!

If you are like me, up to this point, you may have been a little self centered and focused on your weight loss and fitness journey. By now, you might be feeling a little stressed, your blood pressure is rising. Already there is so much you have to do for yourself, your family and your other obligations, that the upcoming holidays just adds a little extra pressure to your already busy life. You also might be thinking that there is just not enough time left in the day to exercise, or plan your meals or journal your calories….DON’T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT QUITTING AND PUTTING OFF WHAT’S IMPORTANT FOR YOU!!! YOU CAN’T QUIT NOW!!! Just saying…

Anyway, in the “old” days, by now I would be thinking of all of the wonderful goodies and treats I would be making for my friends and family, and of course, I would be planning our huge Thanksgiving meal.

So this year…instead of putting all of my energy and focus on the food of the season…I’ve decided that I’m making the holidays more about people!
Giving of my time and money….

Whoa, you might say…”Right now I neither have enough time nor enough money to spare!!”

I get it...I get it!!!

But I would like to challenge you and ask you to trust the Lord with this mission.

A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.
Proverbs 11:25

So if you are up to it. Spend your time blessing others. Give your hubby backrubs…Play games with your kids…Spend time and money at a homeless shelter or a food bank…Make cards and send them to your friends…Call someone you have not spoken to in a while…Call someone and make amends…Invite your single neighbor over for Thanksgiving dinner…Give Blood…Visit someone in the hospital…Start a Bible Study with your co-workers…Take your boss out to lunch…Volunteer at your church…Make things and take them to a nursing home…Pick up trash…Open doors for people…Let someone in when merging on the highway…Give grace to others…Give out hugs…Say a kind word…Just be a blessing to all!!

Now don’t get me wrong. Don’t forget about your health and fitness goals and other obligations. You still need to keep focused!

This holiday season; don’t put your focus on the food. Focus on others…be giving…be generous…be a Blessing and then you too will be refreshed!

Are you with me?
Keep focused!!

Welcome to Day 4 of Living Healthy During the Holidays Week!  Today I have another guest post for you.  This time from Ellen of www.fatgirlwearingthin.com.  She has lost over 100 pounds and has maintained that loss for the past several years. I really enjoy reading her blog, and I hope you will go over and check it out - after reading this post of course!

Take it away Ellen:

The holidays are upon us. Many of us will be fixing Thanksgiving dinner for family and friends. Many more of us will be traveling to other parts of the state, across the country, or in some cases, other parts of the world to spend time with our loved ones. Traveling can be exciting, but eating while traveling can be an absolute nightmare to those of us who are watching our weight.

Toll roads are filled with nothing but higher-priced fast food chains, while rest stops offer very few healthy options among rows of vending machines. This of course means that after sitting for hours on end (and thus burning fewer calories) we get out of the car to sit down again and fill up on fried foods, loads of carbs and sugar. Even if your willpower is rock-solid and you search for a salad, you still have to put up with highly caloric dressings, high fat toppings and in many cases, questionable lettuce.

Traveling is even tougher if you are flying. You are pretty much at the mercy of your airline as they tempt you with honey roasted nuts, soft drinks and maybe a $15 meal which probably has the nutritional stats of a Three Musketeers Bar.

If you are traveling this holiday season, just remember that you CAN be in charge of your eating habits and arrive at your destination without a gut-ache as long as you do a little pre-planning. Here are some tips that I use when I travel: If I know that I’ll be in a vehicle for a while, I take along a couple of small coolers. One is filled with bottles of water. I also take along various flavors of single-serving drink mixes like Crystal Light On-the-Go. This way, if I get bored with water alone, I have an easy way to add more drink choices without sacrificing car space. My second cooler is filled with a pre-prepared meal for the road, and consists of items that are easy to eat with little mess: sandwiches, pre-cut veggies, fruit and 100 calorie pack crackers.

Great items to choose from whether you’re in a plane, train or automobile: celery, carrots, radishes; fruits like apples, bananas, grapes.   Other foods to choose from: Laughing Cow Cheeses with 100 calorie pack crackers, Vitatops, almonds divided into plastic baggie single ounce servings, Weight Watchers 1 point individual packs of string cheese.

Sometimes, traveling is just plain boring. Many times I will find myself searching for food even if I’m not hungry just to give me something that will help pass the time. In cases like these, I always make sure to pack 2 additional things and keep them close by: gum and lollipops. There are countless flavors of sugar-free gum that will keep your mouth occupied during those times when you feel the unwarranted need to snack. And lollipops are a super alternative as well. They are relatively low in calories (I like Yummy Earth Organic Lollipops, which contain less than 25 calories per pop). They keep your mouth happy and busy.

Remember, making smarter food choices doesn’t begin at the dinner table. The decision to eat healthy before you arrive will start you off on the right path and help give you the strength to continue making healthy choices throughout the rest of your visit.

Have a safe, fun and memorable holiday season, everyone.
Ellen
http://www.fatgirlwearingthin.com/

Today we celebrate Day #2 of Healthy Living During the Holidays Week, and I'm honored to share with you a guest post courtesy of Valerie who blogs at http://seattlerunnergirl.com/. She's a thirty-something who is so incredibly committed to losing weight and has done an amazing job so far! She is passionate about sharing her journey with others, so listen up!



Hello all! When Sarah asked me to write a guest post about strategies to get through the holidays with your commitment to living healthy intact, I knew exactly what I wanted to write about. First off, though, let me tell you a little about me.

I have been obese since I was a senior in high school. I am now 34 years old and have just transitioned from "obese" to "overweight" according to the BMI scale. I have struggled to lose weight my entire adult life (my highest recorded weight was 298.6; I now weigh 189 pounds), and this is the first time I have succeeded and know that I will continue to succeed for the long-term. Other things to know about me? I love baseball; I'm a newlywed; I also enjoy salsa dancing, hanging out with my niece and nephews, and good Lebanese food, among other things.

One thing I have wanted for a very long time is to work through my emotional "issues" with food and develop a healthy, normal relationship with food. I believe that is possible for every one of us, but the journey sure looks different for us all! And that's the context in which I want to talk about holiday eating.

If you don't mind, close your eyes for a moment and think of the person in your life who you would identify as the healthiest person you know. A sister, friend, co-worker; someone who maintains a healthy weight, who eats healthy almost all the time, and who doesn't beat herself up when she chooses to eat something less-than-perfectly-healthy. That person? That's my goal. And I hope it is yours, too.

For me, achieving this goal is as important to me as achieving a healthy weight. Because adopting the mindset and practices of that healthiest-person-I-know? That is what is going to allow me (and you) to maintain my healthy weight once I get there.

So how do healthy weight folks approach the holidays? I have some thoughts on this myself, and would love for you to share your ideas with me, too!

Strategy #1: Focus on the WHOLE reason we celebrate holidays, instead of just the food.
People who have a healthy, normal relationship with food look forward to the holidays for a myriad of reasons, only one of which is the food. *gasp* I know, right?!? You mean someone looks forward to Thanksgiving without their focal point being the pumpkin pie?! People enjoy Halloween without overdosing on candy?! Who on earth ARE these people? I'll tell you who they are; they are the ones who make it through the holidays while maintaining their weight, enjoying the food, but also celebrating and enjoying everything else important about the holidays.

If you are spiritual or religious, many holidays already have a higher meaning for you. If not, think of all the other reasons to anticipate the holidays: we get to spend time with the people we love. Time off of work. Focusing on fun traditions that are outside of our everyday routines. And, yes, the wonderful food of the holidays, too. It's not that you should ignore the food or that looking forward to it is "bad;" it just shouldn't be your only focus.

Strategy #2: Enjoy holiday food in moderation.
Guess what? If you give yourself permission to go hog-wild on your eating every time a special occasion comes along, you will have a very hard time losing weight and/or keeping it off. Most people who maintain a healthy weight do indulge a little on the holidays. Maybe they’ll choose to eat an extra small plate at Thanksgiving dinner, or enjoy a dessert when they might not otherwise do so. Usually, though, that's where it ends. They treat the holidays like they do everyday life - with moderation. And while moderation can look a little different on holidays, that doesn't mean you throw it out the window altogether.

Don't let [insert favorite food holiday here] be an excuse to eat with wild abandon for a four-day weekend. Instead, identify the foods you don't get to eat the rest of the year, and enjoy them in reasonable portions. As my uncle says, it’s always something. Christmas, Valentine’s Day, your birthday, his birthday, your uncle’s cousin’s dog’s birthday, Thanksgiving, Independence Day…you get the idea. Special occasions aren’t as rare as we make them out to be.

Strategy #3: Stay committed to working out on special occasions.
I have friends who work out 5-6 days a week, no matter what. Yep, you heard that right – no matter what. It’s raining? They do it anyways. On vacation? They fit it in. In a remote locale with no access to a gym? They lace up their shoes and run or pull the resistance bands out of their suitcase and workout anyways.

Working out can cover a multitude of gastronomical “sins.” You can’t exercise 30 minutes per day and justify eating 3,000 extra calories that day. But if you commit to 45-60 minutes of high intensity exercise 5-6 days/week, you can probably choose one food indulgence per day over the holidays and maintain your weight just fine. Not to mention the fact that if you keep your body moving, you’ll sleep better and be able to enjoy little breaks from your holiday-peeps – those family and friends you love oh-so-much but sometimesyoujustwanttokillthemtoo.

So there you have it. My long-winded approach to enjoying the holidays and not regretting them when I step on the scale in January. These are just a few tips; what strategies do you use to enjoy the holidays without guilt and without weight gain?

Earlier this month I was visiting my out-of-town family.  My sister begged asked to guest post on my blog.  After much suspense may I introduce my oldest sister Cathy - she loves wine, is the best voice teacher in Kalispell, MT, and makes a kick-ass pasta dish!  So without further ado... Losing Sarah - a guest post:

Fat little legs came to visit . . . 

Don’tcha just love the “hot stuff” printed on the t-shirt!

though I discovered I couldn’t call her that anymore. Let me introduce myself—My name is Cathy and I am Sarah’s “much older” sister—by sixteen years to be exact.


I think it would be fair to say that all of us in this family struggle with weight. I, too, am a member of Weight Watchers, losing 25+ pounds while I was in college. So, the journey has not been as intense for me as for Sarah. I also came down with an auto-immune disease related to my gastrointestinal system about 12 years ago. It’s not the best way to keep my weight in check—although I’ve learned to live with it.


But back to Sarah’s visit—Sarah loves to shop.

Sadly this was one of my suits—I can’t believe I wore this!

Maybe you haven’t figured that out yet, but she does. I also love to shop so we headed out on Saturday to the local farmer’s market and then off to a home decor store. The darnedest thing kept happening. I could not find Sarah anywhere. I would scour the aisles of the farmer’s market and then turn around and find she was right next to me all along! Sarah is a mere ghost of her former self—and I, her own sister, could not recognize her!!

So, losing Sarah . . . her weight, her baggage, her bad habits, losing her while shopping but finding she is walking right next to me, . . . I/we are so proud of her and she has truly changed into the “found” Sarah. I wish I could/would measure out my food, run miles every day, make healthy choices. She is an inspiration to us all. So, Sarah, here’s to you!!



O.K. I only drank a little while I wrote this

 And as a little extra bonus I am posting the recipe for the dessert I am making for our family dinner tonight. It will consume lots of “points” and probably kill off my diabetic brother-in-law.

Dump Cake

Preheat oven to 350. In a 9x13 pan layer a 21-oz can of cherry pie filling and a small, drained can of crushed pineapple. Sprinkle an 18.5 oz package of yellow cake mix over that. Pour 1 to 2 sticks of melted butter over that. Sprinkle the top with 1 cup of flaked coconut and ½ cup chopped walnuts. Bake for 50-60 minutes or until browned and bubbly. Serve warm or cold with whipped cream, ice cream, or if you are counting those points some non-dairy whipped topping.

This is why I am the “evil” sister. BAHHHHHAAAHAAAA!!