Today was my "baby" boy's first day of Kindergarten!

It is unbelievable to me that 5 years ago tomorrow (September 5, 2007), after 27 days in the NICU we finally brought him home for the first time from the hospital!  He was a mere 4 lbs 5 oz the day he was discharged.  I can see it all in my mind still when I close my eyes!



"L" - 1 day old - 3 lbs 4 oz

In the first 5 years of his life, there have been so many firsts.  And today was yet another first, and another reminder to his mama that time passes so quickly when we aren't really paying attention.

"L" - 9/4/12 First day of Kindergarten

I We made it!  It’s the last day of February and Turner Syndrome Awareness month is officially coming to a close.  I first want to thank everyone for reading!  Putting together 29 days of posts has been a challenge, but one that I enjoyed immensely.  I’m certainly glad that February only has 29 days though!  I am so grateful to all of those that helped by guest posting.  My hope is that you learned something new, and that you will be able to use that knowledge, either now or in the future, to help someone else.

In conclusion of this special month, I wanted to talk a moment about what it has been like for me to be Lily’s mother.  It is the new identity that I've taken on over this past year, and it has shaped me and changed my life in countless ways... both good and bad.

This time last year a tiny bean was growing in my belly.

Tiny Bean- 6 weeks

I had amazing hopes for my pregnancy, amazing hopes for her.  I was as healthy as I had ever been, and I was convinced that my pregnancy would go swimmingly.  I was anticipating with joy a normal birth weight baby – after my preemie son was born 3 lbs 4 oz, 4 years earlier.  Innocent friends and family joked that I’d probably have a 10 punder this time.  I actually wanted that!  And yes, I was having a repeat C-section so that was easier for me to say. 

Deep down though I had some fear.  I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but there was always something in the back of my mind I was unsettled about.  Call it intuiton, or maybe call it PTSD from my previous pregnancy, but whatever you call it, that fear was rationalized at our 19 week ultrasound.  I remember first hearing the term cystic hygroma that day.  For days afterwards I couldn’t even remember how to pronounce that stupid word, let alone begin to understand it.  I also first heard Turner Syndrome that day, was offered an amnio, and was told I could make a decision to terminate my pregnancy if I wanted to.



Despite  being dragged to this place (sometimes kicking and screaming) I am convinced this is my calling.  I am certain of it, and I am validated nearly weekly now.  Last week it was the early invention nurse commenting on what a strong advocate I seem to be for Lily – even though we had only been talking for 5 minutes.  It was the doctor that listened to me about the medication interfering with her reflux, and spending an extra minute with me to let me educate her on some Turner Syndrome aspects.



Now, I’m not saying I’m a patron saint – far be it!  But I do think that God made me with laughter, barely any patience, a strong sense of independence, and yes, some (ok, maybe a lot) of selfishness.  I’ve always been what I’ll lovingly refer to as “feisty”.  I now know that many of my experiences in the past 34 years of life have been grooming me for this moment, and while I never chose this for myself, I accept it, because even in the hardest of times, it is still an honor and a blessing that I’ve been chosen to be Lily’s mom!

So Lily... all of this past month is for you.  I love you... Love, your Mom

Princess Lily - 5 months

Final Note:  I'm tired!  Really tired.  Lily's been sick twice this month, and "L" once.  After blogging for the past 29 days straight, I'm going to be taking a minor break - a week or so - away from blogging to love on my sweet family, and catch up on sleep ... and life.  I'll be back next week!