I had a hard, hard night last night. I was uploading and organizing some pictures. I had taken a sweaty picture a couple of weeks ago at Prior Fat Girl's request but still hadn't uploaded it yet. I have also been trying to add pictures to my slide show that runs on the left pane of my blog - if you read through a reader it is definitely worth a look.
Anyways... as I was sorting through things I came across this picture:
Anyways... as I was sorting through things I came across this picture:
This was from December of 2008 - not even 2 years ago. My little boy was only 1 at the time, and well me... I was fat, as you can clearly see. The shock and reminder of seeing this picture did me in. I had a good cry. It is still so painful to look at this. It is so painful to know that all of the pictures of me before my son's second birthday I am disgusted with. And it is beyond painful for me to know that someday he will want to look at pictures from his first 2 years, and he will see this. I won't be able to hide it from him forever. He will see me, and he will know that this is what I was. To know that is about more than I can take right now.
I guess in keeping with the good. At least when he looks now he will see this:
In all my sweaty glory, and you know what? I don't care. I don't care that I'm sweaty and that I have a uni boob from my sports bra. I don't care that my face is red. I am happy. I just ran 3.5 miles before this picture was taken. The girl in the blue sweater above... she couldn't do that, and I guess right now that has to be enough.
This has to be enough:
