I'm sitting here feeling a little excited and a little sad this afternoon.  In mere hours I will be meeting up with some fellow blogger and healthy living people who have deemed themselves the "Prior Fat Pack" (#priorfatpack on twitter).  We'll be potlucking tonight - which I can still do in my condition - yes, yes, very good at eating food these days.  No one laugh at me tonight, OK, I'm eating for two (yes, yes, lame excuse used).  That's the excited part!

But this group of awesome people is not just getting together to eat - because seriously then, what type of healthy bloggers would we they be.  They are also running in the Challenge Hearts & Minds 5k tomorrow.  This is the little sad part.  I'm not running with them!  I've been really good at doing my walking 3 times a week, but I haven't run since early February, and with the complications in my pregnancy, it is going to be a while until I run again, let alone run a race. 

Last year at this time I was a mere 2 weeks away from my own, first 5k.  I was scared, I was nervous, but I was empowered.  I was running, and I was rocking it.  Now, at the time I'd like to run most... well, maybe not just run, but actually RUN AWAY. I can't.  Boy... how life can change so quickly. 

So... to all of the Prior Fat Pack members, you guys rock!  You are going to do awesome tomorrow, and I can't wait to hear/read all about it.  I will not be running with you, but I have you all in my thoughts, and I'm hoping and praying for some amazing sunshine to come out, and shine down on all of you!

I had a nice surprise today - or maybe a scary surprise..

As I checked blogs today I saw my name staring right out in the middle of the page on Priorfatgirl - If you don't already follow Jen, go over - she is amazing, and has lost a lot of weight too!  Anyways... I had entered to win a giveaway for a ticket to the Priorfatgirl - One Breath One Step Get Together this weekend.  Why was my name staring back right at me?  Because I won!  I won a ticket to this weekend's event. 

I cannot tell you how many times I've talked myself out of going to this.  Last October she had one of these same get togethers, and I hemmed and hawed and waited and waited, and then the tickets were sold out.  See... there is something maybe you don't know about me.  I don't like to go places.  Yeah, I'm strange, I said it.  I don't like to go out into social situations with people I don't know.  I feel like people are staring, I feel vulnerable and alone.  I know it has something to do with being fat most of my life.  It also runs in the family (thanks mom - love you!).  I'm trying to get over it.  I am forcing myself to do new things, to meet new people.  I forced myself to enter the giveaway with the thought that I would NEVER win - and now I HAVE to go.  Thanks Jen!  Thanks for helping me come out a little. 

I know the get together will likely be amazing, but I'm freaking out just a little, and that's OK.  I have to tell myself that its OK to freak out a little, to be scared, and to feel a bit socially awkward.  Its OK as long as in the end I go and carry myself and treat myself like I'm worth it!

So on Saturday here I go...
Off to meet people I only read about on the Internet.
Off to meet some people who've likely read about me on the Internet.
Off to a new place in town I've never been before.

It's OK, breathe... this is supposed to be FUN!

AND...If you are here because you clicked over from Priorfatgirl, thanks for visiting!  I've had a record number of hits on my blog today - WOW!  I hope you decide you like it here and come back often.  I hope I can offer you encouragement and hope on your own journey.  Please read my story and first ever blog post so I can bring you up-to-date on my life!  If you are also attending the One Breath One Step Get Together I seriously look forward to meeting you, and I promise, once I actually talk myself into going somewhere new, I REALLY open up... trust me on this one... everyone that knows me would never classify me as quiet!