Thursday, November 10, 2011

Confused, Angry, and Scared

Its Thursday... which means I weighed myself for the first time since starting back to counting Points last Thursday. 

Overall, my week was really good.  I followed the plan.  I measured my food.  I stopped eating candy.  Probably the only thing that I didn't do was drink the amount of water I should have.. but, I was close.

So... when I stepped on the scale this morning, I was really hopeful.  But instead what I got was a weight that was up .1 of a pound.  I blinked, and laughed thinking I must have screwed up and I got off and stepped on again... same number, 215.1.  I can't believe it.  I'm PISSED!  No, make that I'm PISSED AS HELL!  Can you tell I'm mad?

I really can't figure it out, but what it does is makes me 100% distrust the Points Plus program.  And even more it makes me distrust my body.  When bodies were being handed out, I got the lemon, and unlike a car I don't think there is a lemon law anywhere for bodies.

In fact, I was so mad about it that I sat in my bed and cried about it for a good hour this morning.  I actually lost less weight this week, than last week when I was not doing Weight Watchers and was mindlessly eating Halloween candy.  My mind says then maybe I should just go back to eating candy.  Yeah, I know, that's just stupid.

This is like living through my worst fear... I that I will NOT be able to lose weight again. 

I'm really not sure what to do from here.  I know I can't give up, but I seriously cannot put in the effort and willpower that losing weight takes without getting a payoff for doing it.

I am confused, and angry, and scared.  I don't like how I look and how I feel.  This stinks!
Please excuse me while I put a pan of brownies in the oven...

13 comments:

Melinda November 10, 2011 at 2:04 PM  

I"m sorry to hear that you didn't see a loss this week. Are you nursing? Are you eating every possible point (your daily target, your WPA AND any activity points)? My experience (and that of other nursing mothers) is that you have to do that to lose weight while on Weight Watchers.

Some women have the weight just melt off if they are nursing. I was not one of those women--in fact I don't know of any woman who was. If you are struggling, just realize you aren't alone!

LutherLiz November 10, 2011 at 3:16 PM  

Hugs. If you want to go walking or something sometime I'm game.

LoriV. November 10, 2011 at 3:22 PM  

I do not like the PointsPlus program. I feel like it shouldn't be that different, but I don't lose weight when doing PointsPlus like with just Points. I feel your pain on this one and can only suggest to move more in the coming week and be patient. That is so much easier said than done.

Lynn W November 10, 2011 at 5:18 PM  

How did you like what you were eating in the past week? If you liked it and felt like you could live with it, I would say give it a month to try it out. You can always adjust your program at that point. I know weather changes make a big difference with my weight. As soon as it gets humid I puff up (as much as 5 lbs!).

Anonymous,  November 10, 2011 at 6:53 PM  

Hey Sarah,

I started WW the week before it switched over to Points Plus. So I don't really have experience with the first program. But I can tell you that it does work, you just need to give it a little time, and not be so hard on yourself, or your body. You've lost weight before and you will do it again. Hang in there!

Diane

Joy November 10, 2011 at 9:04 PM  

If anyone can do this you can. You have what it takes!!! You've got this!!!

Keep focused!

Amy November 10, 2011 at 9:40 PM  

Sarah,
I find comfort in your experiences with weight lost and I also find inspiration as well. Like you, I suffer from PCOS and have been unable to loose weight. No matter what I have done I have been unable to loose, so I just say, "forget it, just do what you want to Amy". So please know that you have inspired me to makes changes in my life and I am praying that God continues to provide for you the strength and endurance it will take for you to reach your goals once again.

Anonymous,  November 10, 2011 at 11:19 PM  

May the Lord be with you. Jesus loves you!!

Amy Ross,  November 11, 2011 at 7:00 AM  

Sarah YOU can do it! I remember hearing at WW before that maybe one week you don't see much loss, but it's the next week that it shows up on the scale. I know you can do it. Believe in yourself, you have succeeded before and you can do it again. I am so proud of you! Congrats on your adorable girl, and have fun with your sister this weekend!

Julie November 11, 2011 at 7:23 AM  

Hi Sarah,
Hugs to you ((())) and everything you have done is amazing! You have pure determination and will find the motivation to keep going!!!

Anonymous,  November 11, 2011 at 11:48 AM  

Hi Sarah,

I know how discouraging not seeing the scale go down can be when you feel like you've worked so hard for it!

Please don't give up, give yourself another couple of weeks. I have noticed on more than one occasion that when I have had either a really good week, or a really bad week, the scale doesn't reflect it until a week or two later.

So please don't give up! Give it your all again this week and I am willing to bet you will see your hard work pay off on the scale next week!

After everything you've gone through and done...I know you can do it!

Sarah November 13, 2011 at 6:31 PM  

Umm. yeah. That FEAR. That fear that even though we've done it before. We won't be able to duplicate our success. I'm not on weight watchers but for the last two weeks have been logging all my food and tracking calories.

I swear the scale hates me or my body is still readjusting. I hate my hips, my ribcage and the fact that I have very little to wear. I know I will continue to shrink (it's only been 6 weeks) but it can not happen fast enough.

I am so rooting for you. You know what you need to do... stick with it.

Jenn November 16, 2011 at 9:35 PM  

Me and you both got the shitty end of the stick when it comes to the body "geezus hath given us" ... with that said, I don't know if you work out but maybe that's why you gained instead of loss?? Less eating will slow your metabolism and then no exercise, only outcome would be to gain.

I on the other hand exercise like no one's business but can't get the eating right. If I had your will power to not stuff crap down my throat I think I would be ok.

I say you will be fine. Brush this .1 lb gained off and go beastmode next week. The numbers will drop and you will be even sexier mam.

Good luck :)

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