More Than SmashburgerMarch 07, 2012
I posted the following on Facebook midday on Sunday (What! You're not following me on facebook? ):
"My boys went to Smashburger for lunch and I'm laying here feeling sorry for myself that I don't have enough Wwers points to go there today :( people who can eat whatever they want without it effecting their weight suck! I am tired of this life long battle!"
Yep, the cold hard weight loss truth. I missed out on something because I made a choice to not eat that type of food. It sucks! Its hard! There are so many days when the "I don't wannas" come out to play. Yesterday was a day like that. I moped, I cried, I screamed, "It's not fair!" And you know what? It's not fair. But life, life is not meant to be fair, of that I am 100% sure.
And I am tired. Really tired. Really tired of this weight battle, but not just of this battle, but of everything lately. I feel crushed under the load of more. More stress, more stuff, more to deal with, more kids getting sick, more doctor appointments, more battles to fight, more prescriptions that get screwed up. Crushed under more.
And sometimes, it doesn't feel worth it. To give these things up. To give up Smashburger, when I really wanted it. I sit here wondering why I even try. Why I even do this.
And then this happens:
My sister posts:
"I changed my profile pic so you would be inspired and be GLAD you gave up Smashburger today!"
And she changes her pic to this:
And I cry... because we look so dang hot, and I can't even fit my right toe into that dress right now, and that hurts.
And I cry... because I'm crushed under more, and in this picture I was not!
And I cry... because its a special thing to have a sister that would change her profile pic and post that.
And I smile.. because she believes in me, and apparently so do other people, even if I don't believe in myself.
And I know, that giving up Smashburger was the right choice, even if it sucked.
And I know that I will get my entire body - not just my right toe - into that dress again!
And if I for one minute feel like whining about my progress and where I'm at. I will think of the time that I so graciously received an attitude adjustment.
But... I will work hard to get where I want to be, because it is worth it. Sometimes, it is worth it more that Smashburger.