Today I want to reflect on fear.  Why?  Because it is the emotion that has been consuming me lately.  And, for some reason no matter what your struggle (weight, depression, dependency issues, unemployment, etc. etc.) I think there comes a time where we all deal with fear.  This may come as a surprise to you, but I have been consumed with fear over the past week or so.  I've had constant thoughts of something bad going wrong with this pregnancy.  My history doesn't help me to conquer this fear very much since I was a statistic last time.  Yesterday, as I sat and thought about the intense fear and the resulting anxiety I was feeling I knew I could not live in this reality for the next 23 or so weeks (the Lord willing).

So I asked myself... what is the worst thing that can happen?
- I could die.
- My baby could die.
- We could both die.
- I could have major complications again
- I could have a preemie
- I could have a baby spend days, weeks, and even months in the NICU
- There could be something wrong with my baby (i.e. a birth defect)
- The baby might have growth issues

Facing that those are my fears was shocking, but incredibly freeing.  Seeing them down in print, and acknowledging they are real was important. 

So next, I asked myself, what can I do to try and calm some of these fears? 
Well... maybe I should take a lesson from my 3 year old son.  See, we have this Jesus action figure in our house (don't even ask...) and right now "L" is too scared to go down the hall to his bedroom and turn the light on in the dark by himself, so in his very own words "I'll bring God with me so I'm not scared." and down he marches down the hall as brave as can be with the Jesus figurine in his hand.  Little kids are so obviously smart sometimes.

Here is my comfort:
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14:27)

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” (Isaiah 43:1-3)

The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear?

The LORD is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalm 27:1

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understand, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7


My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9


I'm not nervous... I'm terrified... I'm scared to death, but I trust that the same God who loved me enough to send his only son to die for me on the cross so many thousands of years ago, the God of peace, will calm my heart and my mind.

Conquer your fear this Good Friday.