I didn’t post a weekly pregnancy update yesterday because… well… I HAD A REALLY BAD DAY! Then I fell asleep on the couch at 8:30, because I’m exhausted. I can’t sleep, and my mind races all night long, and I have weird dreams – about yelling at pizza people because they didn’t bring the pizza to the right address. And I wake up all pissed off and worked up. I’m about to go out of my mind! I’m going to give it the weekend and if I’m still having trouble sleeping then I’m going to call the doctor and figure out what I can possibly do.

Wednesday was a bad day. Thursday was better but not great. I was feeling really nauseous yesterday, which only furthers my anger and bitter feelings. I guess I can expect a bit of up and down, and Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday I felt so good… so positive. I felt like this baby could make it. 
I am currently 20 weeks pregnant, which should be a huge milestone, as its technically halfway as a normal pregnancy is 40 weeks!  Instead of thinking about being halfway, I'm stuck thinking about how much longer we can make it.  It's been 1 week since the dreaded ultrasound. Two weeks from today we have another Level II ultrasound to check on the baby and get a status - better, worse, the same.  I want to get to that day desperately, while at the same time I am terrified of the very thing I am counting down to.  I am thinking of making one of those paper chains that little kids use to count down to school ending, or vacation, or something fun.

I have a 24 hour urine test and Preeclampsia blood work on Sunday/Monday to baseline my numbers.  I have a doctor's appointment in a week with my regular OB GYN.  It will be my last appointment with him until the specialist takes over 100% of my care. 

Tomorrow is my husband's birthday.  I feel bad he has to spend his birthday with all this hanging over his head.