Why I Hate Minnesota

June 27, 2010

Hopefully Minnesota Tourism won't see this post otherwise I'll probably be kicked out of the state, but at this point, KICK ME OUT!!!  I don't want to live here.  I don't like it here.  I failed big time today, and because I don't want to take personal responsibility, I'm going to blame it on Minnesota.

Let's back up a bit... late last week Tara @  263 and Counting ran 5 miles!!!  I was so proud of her, that I challenged myself to run 5 miles, but it had to wait until the weekend, because I don't have that much time on weekdays.  So I said I'd do it on Saturday.  I DIDN'T.  I woke up, after a thunderstorm filled night, and the air was so thick with humidity you could have probably cut it with a knife.  Now you have to know that I grew up in Montana.  If there is 14% humidity people start complaining its humid.  People in Montana don't have air conditioners.  You just don't need them.  My blood still hasn't completely adapted to the Midwest killer summer humidity, even though I've been here 11 years now.  So... a 5 mile run in 99% humidity wasn't going to happen.  A 1 mile run in 99% humidity wasn't even going to happen.  So I did what any good Weight Watcher would do... I made waffles, and then went to SuperTarget to buy food!  I did not run.  I heard on the news that the humidity would drop on Saturday overnight, and Sunday would be much less humid.  So I planned my run for then. 

This morning I woke up at 7:15, and put on my running clothes and was out the door by 7:30.  My first thought... "Hmmm... I thought it was supposed to be less humid, not more."  Yep now it was 100% humidity instead of 99%.  AWESOME!  So I set my Nike+ to 4 miles, because I knew that 5 wasn't in the cards for today.  At 2.5 miles I was dying!  I mean I could barely breathe and I was actually getting dizzy, and wouldn't you know it, a freaking mosquito even bit me in the upper arm.  I wasn't going to make 4 miles.  It sucked!  I hated it, but for the sake of safety I quit at 3 miles.  EPIC FAILURE!  It was one of the worst feeling runs I have had to date.  I felt horrible the entire time, and felt like puking for about 40 minutes afterwards. 

So back to my "I hate Minnesota rant"... because I want to blame someone other than me, and because it really sucks to fail, here are the top 10 reasons I hate Minnesota:
10)  There is no Minnesota nice... myth!
9)  People do not know how to merge
8)  Sweaty people walking around eating food on a stick = the best celebration of the summer, the MN State Fair
7)  Vikings will not for the life of them draft a Quarterback
6)  Snow
5)  More Snow sometimes in April and May
4)  Mosquitoes as big as birds in other states
3)  No ocean within a 2 days drive
2)  90 degrees with 90% Humidity!!
1)  Nothing beats the feeling of 30 below with 60 below windchill on your face in January at 5:30 am as you head to the gym

Minnesota - Please do not take this personally.  It was really never meant to be between you and I from the beginning.  I only meant to be here for a few years after college to "get on my feet".  Somehow deep down apparently I like something about you though, because I stayed for the last 11 years.  Some days though putting up with you ain't easy.

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43 comments

  1. Just a little piece of advice. Don't move to Indiana either. :) Much sounds the same here except we have a great quarterback with the Colts. I actually think our state bird is the mosquitoe. Love ready your posts and I don't think Minnesota will take it personally.

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  2. Or Nebraska. Pretty much the same crap!

    I don't think you can count a three mile run a failure by the way. It's a setback maybe. It's an oops. A blunder. A mishap. Call it what you want, but it doesn't become a failure until you let it beat you. You'll do it! And we'll cheer for you when you do!

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  3. Hi, I just wanted to say to you that a three mile run isnt an epic failure. Its more than you ran, well...three miles ago. I set off to run 6 miles with my wife yesterday, but we only ran 4 because we got a late start and it was 95 degrees, we couldnt make it the other 2 but we still ran 4. Great job on the 3! Also, I HATE humidity!

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  4. Ok... notes taken, no Indiana or Nebraska. If I had my way I'd love to live back in NW Montana, but there are no jobs.

    Thanks Ed... you are right! Running in humidity is so hard. Great job to you and your wife for the 4 miles!

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  5. Epic failure? Do you not remember that a few short months ago running wasn't in your vocabulary? That horrible after feel will make the next one that much sweeter! Frankly, I am thrilled that you are in MN so that I have had the chance to watch you week after week discover the beautiful you that the rest of us have seen from the beginning. Enjoy your time away...your crazy WW leader!
    PS...Brett Favre is THE quarterback!

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  6. I totaly agree. Ive move back from Libya about 8 years ago and have been living in this shithole of a state. What ive noticed is that people fake smile you. Women are fat and ugly. Lot of wihit trash norweigan farmers. People dont know how to drive. Potholes everywhere during the winter. Minus 30 in the winter and 100 plus 100 percent humidity int the summers. Plus they have the worse transit system in the world. I havent made one decent friend and never had a relationship last more than a year. So now im gonna join the Navy and get out of this shit hole place!

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  7. I have been living in MN since 1995, and still find the constant temperature extremes intolerable. From -20 below zero (not counting wind chill) with an inch of ice on the roads, to sweltering heat and crippling humidity..There are maybe 15 decent days here throughout the entire year, and you can't really enjoy them because the mosquitoes are trying to eat you alive.

    Regarding the State Fair; I have been only once in my life, and you couldn't pay me to return.

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  8. The real reason you hate minnesota is you're fat little legs won't propell you through a heavy snowfall. Move elsewhere if you can't hack it, wussy!

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  9. Hi random MN hater,

    I have come here to vent!

    I relocated to MN for work after living in many different places all over the state and in the world as well.

    This is the shit-hole of America. Everybody is passive-aggressive. F*ck MN-nice. It's all bull.

    People are not cultured nor do they endeavor to see the world. They are small-minded and will never leave the state in their lives. They think there's diversity here (Hmong and Somali) but they just stick'em in the ghetto-est part of MN and not even try to immerse in their culture.

    Overall I hate this place but especially the people. The people are ignorant f*cks. This is a fly-over state for a reason. I hope these Minnesotans never leave their state and pollute everywhere else in the world.

    And hey, Anonymous up there, shut the f*ck up. At least we move around and explore places, you hick.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! I'm done with this cesspool.

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  10. Princesstine, you made my day.

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  11. The people here SUCKKK! It's one thing to be a hick and own it, but these icy fvcks have disdain for anything not MN.

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  12. I too hate MN. Corporate relocation is the reason we're here. Trust me, sure wouldn't have moved here by choice. Left metro-Atlanta for this??? People are rude. Can't count the number of times I've been blatantly ignored while shopping. Speak to anyone and they look through you. Ummm being friendly, welcoming isn't such a bad thing folks. My kids say there's nothing but liquor stores and bars here no wonder people are messed up. They can't wait to leave. I can't wait to leave. My husband regrets taking the position here. MN-nice is bunk; just a euphemism for passive-aggressive behavior. ugh.

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  13. It's true, MN SUCKS. I've lived all over New York and I've lived in Texas, the people in MN are the rudest I've ever met. They have a way of trying to put you down when they speak, like you're a child, and they seem to have staring problems. No one can drive, there's no diversity, they're obsessed with themselves for some reason, and it's extremely boring. No interesting scenerey and the weather is terrible. I cannot wait to get outta here.

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  14. MINUTE is a nice place to be FROM

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  15. Minnesota is a nice place to be FROM!

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  16. Then GTFO! Minnesota doesn't like you either bitch.

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  17. I actually thought MN was nice but I don't live their so I guess that's why

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  18. Mn sucks. The people are stupid fools, although they are clever with doing stuff accidentally on purpose in order to sabotage the best interests of the people around them, who in a normal place, meaning no Minnesotans, would be happy and successful, but no one is allowed to be anything but mediocre or worse, less you make them feel bad in comparison.

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  19. I hate the stupid people and Minnesota Nice!!!They are rude and intrusive beyond words.

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  20. I love how you only get HATE comments from Mn natives,typical passive aggressive behavior form narrow minded brains. Most of Mn natives have never been to other places in their life's and that is why they ALL think Mn is awesome and great.
    Been here too long not by choice and everyday I hate this state more and more....poor world culture and lots of ice fishing and hunting poor innocent wild life.

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  21. Some great posts here that I agree with 100%!

    Fortunately, my husband, kids and I were able to escape living in booooooooooooring MN.

    That was the BEST thing that ever happened to us.

    I lived there for over 30 years. Even as a young kid, I hoped to escape someday.

    "MN nice"; haha...that is sarcasm at its finest.

    Regarding sarcasm....I came across many mean-spirited and sarcastic people there.

    The weather as a whole is awful; not many days people can comfortably be outdoors.

    The mosquitoes are terrible...yuck!

    Many racists people and little diversity.

    Very high rate of alcoholism; I think that is because people are stuck indoors so often and bored.

    Not much to do for fun.

    Dear others who hate MN,
    I truly hope there is some way you can escape too. Life is too short to spend time somewhere you hate.
    I'm cheering you on!


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  22. wouldnt live in this shithole state, if held at gunpoint !!! Go ahead, elect another WWE for governor, and a comedian to senate, dont pass a budget, and close the rest stops again soon. Piss off...and lose another hockey team while you claim to "support" them.

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  23. MN IS JUNK!!!!!

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  24. Than move out of MN! I dont know what your talking about hating the State Fair. The State Fair is so awesome!! All the rides the food the cookies??? Have you never been to the MOA? Waterpark of America? Of course it's going to be freezing it shares a border with CANADA!!! So if you dont like MN than move out we dont need people like you in the state anyways. We're fine without you:) Oh and you anonymous person that wrote Minnesotans only like MN because they have been no where else well I've moved around my entire life! And this is the truth the reason most Minnesotans may not be nice or may be racist to you is because Mn is a very nice state and people usually live in nice homes and have nice things. So if they see people that maybe are not as fortunate as they are, they look at them differently. So if you ever are planning to go just keep these things in mind so you dont get offended and write a bunch of hate comments.

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  25. I lived there for 7 and half years from the UK; By the end I hated it. What with the enforced conformity and lessening yourself for others to be "comfortable and not threatened" by others opinions, differences, and being better or having more than them. It's like asking people to go backwards for them to feel good about themselves. Insulting to ask people to do that. I had to leave...

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  26. Minnesota has to be the laughingstock of the United States. I think Minnesota sucks and I made a website about it here: http://minnesotasucks2.blogspot.com/

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  27. If you are between 35 and 49 and a transplanted single living in or near Minneapolis or St. Paul, check out this group:

    http://www.meetup.com/Transplant-Singles-In-The-Cities/

    Just formed yesterday and it is average one new member every hour.

    Don't bother trying to socialize with Minnesota natives. They are a waste of time.

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  28. Oops, averaging one new member per hour-

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  29. Oops, averaging one new member per hour-

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  30. If you are between 35 and 49 and a transplanted single living in or near Minneapolis or St. Paul, check out this group:

    http://www.meetup.com/Transplant-Singles-In-The-Cities/

    Just formed yesterday and it is average one new member every hour.

    Don't bother trying to socialize with Minnesota natives. They are a waste of time.

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  31. Loved Minnesota till I moved here. Honestly I didn't mind the weather, the place is beautiful beyond words, but the people..the word intrusive goes to levels you didn't thought possible. The people are insufferable..fake, 100% fake. Hypocrisy rules undisputed here. Manipulative like hell, and don't get me started on the stalking, because in being so intrusive, they have given themselves authority over you to stalk you as they please.

    - Awful experience -

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  32. Minnesota still loves you.

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  33. I used to work for a company based in MN. Thankfully I never lived there (only visited) but I will say there are some EXTREMELY ignorant people up there. They think they know everything even though they are in one of the smallest metros in America. The people are so small minded that they can almost come off as dumb. The office out there was based on a culture of being passive aggressive. I can only look back at my time there and think,
    "What a bunch of retards" - seriously, they are.

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  34. Minnesota Blows. Lots of anal retentive, inbred Scandinavians. prattling on about the IDS building and the Mall of America. Stay away from East Dakota!!!

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  35. These people elected Jesse Ventura and Al Franken...TWICE!! Worst state, dumbest people in the union.

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  36. These tards actually root for the Viqueens. Enough said.

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  37. I cant say all of Minnesota is bad. There are some towns in southern Minnesota that are actually fun to live in. Wabasha, Rochester, St. Cloud. La Crosse WI. I was never bored there and I made a lot of friends. Minneapolis is what makes you hate the state. People in Minneapolis are idiots, self centered and forever bitchy. Miserable people live in Minneapolis. Cost of living was much too high for that cold cold city.

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  38. Minnesota is the place where people who couldn't hack it anywhere else moved to and started breeding.

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  39. Letting the humidity & temp affect your run is such a weak thing to do ಠ_ಠ.
    I suppose not everyone is cut out to push themselves in extreme conditions. Be it extremely humid & hot, or insanely cold & dry, running is doable in MN. I think everyone in their teen ages up to early 20s should be capable of running in any condition if they live in this state. Not everyone can however, since mostly everyone's fat here that didn't migrate here from outta state. I'm one of the few naturally big Spartans that was born in this area lol. While everyone else is like 5ft tall & chubby, I'm 6'8" & cut. Kinda sucks, while this is my homeland, I look nothing like the average individual here 80 miles south of the Canadian border. Kinda makes socializing awkward. I will agree MN is a terrible state to socialize in. Everyone's concerned with themselves & their media. Be it social media, movies, video games, music. Everyone's just too into it around here since it's the only affordable entertainment in the winter. Unless you live out in the sticks & hunt, or ice-fish. Owning an off-road personal vehicle such as a 4-wheeler or Dirt-bike is a must around here. If you do those things daily here, you're living in MN the right way

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  40. I left when i was 18, came back for a few years and got addicted to heroin. Left again, have been doing great ever since. 31 now, and i can officially clain that i no longer, not even for nostalgic reasons, have one iota of love for this place. I do business across the country on an opportinity basis. I saw an opportunity here and attempted to put in the work necessary to gain financially. I did my part by working endlessly to proccess my deal. When it came time to turn around and sell, at dirt cheap bargain prices, i ran in to two faced, shady and down right insulting businessmen only interestes in getting one over on me. I wanted to do legitimate business, they wanted to rip me off and kick me while im down. Now im stuck, having invested my money in the opportunity, im too broke to leave. Get me back to california, where the women are warm, weed is practically free and business is legitmate. Good bye you ice cold piece

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  41. I agree Minnesota sucks, the people are ignorant minded and they don't even know it. Bunch of egotistical assholes who don't treat anyone humanly. Living here dealing with this shit is making me want to kill myself.

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  42. One thing I'll give give mn credit for there outdoors wildlife. Oh too everyone that thinks Minnesota sucks I support you're argument 100%. And to Minnesotans who clearly disapprove can suck my " I think Minnesota sucks" dick. And suck it. Lol! Minnesota haters I got your back. Trust me I know how you feel.

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