Recognizing the New Me

August 25, 2010

I have this silly habit now days, and I'm kind of embarrassed to admit it. 

Here goes....

Every time I visit my blog to make edits or look at my followers, read comments, or whatever, I get in a sort of trance when my slide show comes up on the left pane.  It mesmerizes me.  I watch it over and over and over again.  I can't take my eyes off those pictures.  Seeing my old self is familiar and disgusting- both at the same time/  Seeing the person below the old self?  Well, I wonder who she is.
I don't know her. 
She's a stranger. 
I wonder how she turned into that. 

I know I should know... I mean, that person is me.  But I find that I don't, and I start my contemplating.

22 months after I first stepped into Weight Watchers, I don't know how it all happened.  How I got here.  How I got here tonight almost giddy with excitement because I am so close to my goal weight.  How I got to the point where the person in that picture is me.  Sometimes I do a double take, and I don't believe it.  I don't remember the face slimming down or an actual waist emerging from under all the fat.  But somewhere along the way I turned into a different person, and the image I stare at cannot possible be me.  In some ways it seems like its been forever, and in others it barely feels like any time has passed at all.

Ask the people I see every day and I'm sure they'll admit that they don't really think I look that different.  I think the same thing happened with me.  I see myself every day, so I don't notice it happening, because the changes are so subtle... so spread out.  But suddenly, with those "before" pictures beside, I get a whole new perspective!  It was gradual.  I didn't set out to lose 100 pounds in 6 months or a year.  I just set out to make it happen... and now it has. 

I am in awe of myself, and I hope that doesn't sound vain. 
I am in awe that I have actually almost accomplished a goal I once never thought possible.  A goal I started at so many other times, and never even got close to. 
I am in awe that those pictures are even me.
I am awe that this is real.  This is happening.  This is my life!


Can I hear an Amen?

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  1. What a difference!!! You look fabulous!! I bet you feel great and can do so many things you could not do before. Congratulations on getting it done!!! Hugs!

  2. Amen!

    What you have achieved is truly inspiring. If I ever achieve something of the same magnitude, I will be pretty pleased with myself too. It's not vain to appreciate the effort you have invested in order to transform yourself :)

  3. Oh, silly Sarah "June"... From a person who does see you every day, you ABSOLUTELY look different, and it has been apparent with every week and month along the way. Being fat has never been who you are, my friend, but happy to see you recognize it. ;o) Many Congratulations! Now go kick some 10K arse!


    Looking at the before pictures and the current have done an amazing job! Keep it up, it gives me hope that I can do it too.

  5. You are beautiful! You will be at that goal weight in no time...keep up the fight!

  6. AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!! And congrats!! =) You look great! What an inspiration. =)

  7. I think you look amazing! :) I've posted on my blog some of the weight loss progress I've made too and I LOVE looking at others' progress. Fabulous!! :)

  8. Amen. You did it. You are amazing and it's ok to think so.


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