I am TiredAugust 04, 2011
I am just so tired.
I am just so sad. I hope its hormonal or something. Its the worst its been since the Bubble Burst. I am so incredibly tired, I want to hibernate or something. Its been nearly 3 months that I've been living with this supposedly doomed pregnancy.
I am tired of the doctors.
I am tired of Thursdays.
I am sick and tired of the gooey ultrasound gel.
I am tired of dreading my blood pressure.
I am tired of watching my weight go up.
I am tired of watching the ultrasound screen and waiting for the words from the doctor.
I am tired of knowing what a good arterial measurement is, and what a normal volume of fluid is.
I am tired of waiting for the next shoe to drop.
I am tired of being jealous of people with perfect pregnancies bringing home perfect babies.
I am tired of thinking about this.
I am tired of wondering what is going to happen.
I am tired of worrying about getting cut open.
I am tired of sleeping like crap.
I am tired of peeing so much.
I am tired of getting heartburn and wondering if its the beginning of HELLP.
I am tired of the doom and gloom
and... yet at the same time I am tired of people that act as if nothing is wrong.
I am tired of living in my own skin.
I am tired of not drinking wine and eating blue cheese.
I am so incredibly tired, and I don't think I'm going to feel relief any time soon.
P.S - I have nothing to report from the doctor's visit today. Status Quo. Blood pressure 131/81, up 1 pound this week.